Coraline’s Moon

moon in the clouds

Early this morning I dreamt I was laying on the deck looking up at the night sky.

It was chilly and maybe even frosty, but I recall not caring so much. Objects filled in the inconsequential periphery of my vision. They must have been a gas grill, a glass table, deck chairs, and faded plastic children’s sized deck chairs. A fat crescent moon was directly over me–horns pointing left.

Though it was clearly night time, sunset splashed clouds framed the moon in a ragged combination of white, dark gray, orange, yellow, red, and maybe vibrant rust. They were pasted to the thick blue sky, but over time I could tell they were changing. I wanted to capture the view, but I did not want to miss it either.

I had time to go get the camera.

Rushing back out to the deck, I lay down for the same effect as before and saw through the viewfinder that the clouds had sped up–almost to a roil. The the inside-warm camera body and lens drew moisture from the air like that arm-sized magnet my Grandpa owned drew shavings from the soil around his driveway.

What I wanted moved too fast to capture and what I had to capture it with had failed.

Putting the camera down to the deck I watched the clouds suffocate the moon in plain colorless shades until it was unable to even limn the occlusion. The sky was black now and void of stars.

I woke up.

Before we went to bed, your Mother and I had been talking about taking more pictures of you.

CFF: Month One

CFF Month One

Dear Coraline,

You have been a month with us so far and there really isn’t much to tell. You started out at 6.6875 lbs and 19.5 inches and now you are 8.375 lbs and 22.5 inches–mom is skeptical about the length, but there is plenty of squirming.

You do things differently than your sister and that’s mainly what I am here to talk about.

Tessa got to live in a world without you for 15 months, but you will always live in a world with her. I want to assure you that I will always strive to not make comparisons between you two. No, “Tessa walked at 10 months, why can’t you?” or “Tessa got A’s in math, but you can’t even get a C?” It’s just not fair to do that or to think that way.

A couple other things I will avoid:

  • referring to you as my ‘second daughter’ and her my ‘first daughter’
  • referring to you as little sister or her as big sister

Now that doesn’t mean I won’t ever say you are the second born or her the first, but I won’t introduce you that way at first. My aim here is to outwardly force myself to choose words that allow you to be your own person and not to be defined by comparison to another and to therefore have my brain operate the same way.

Here is what I know about you so far:

  • you are wrinkly
  • your head is round
  • your eyes follow my face or fingers without turning your head
  • you have long feet (I am seriously thinking of calling you ‘Rabbit’)
  • you don’t drool alot
  • your hair is a dark blonde, like mine I think

I am really looking forward to getting to meet you as you grow older.

Dad